Author Lorraine C. Ladish's Blog 2008-05-15T12:08:34Z http://blog.lorrainecladish.com/atom.aspx Quick Blog A Matter of Principle tag:blog.lorrainecladish.com,2007-12-17:ac5edb56-816b-48a6-900e-2e379c19acee LCL13 2007-12-17T20:46:23Z 2007-12-17T20:32:00Z A Matter of Principle
(c) by Lorraine C. Ladish

The day was a real scorcher. The blue of the sky was picture perfect. The ocean was still asleep, calm and still. The cliff was impressive; large earth- toned rocks pointed to the sky.
Foam crawled along the beach on the cove; the place was empty.
There’s a rope at that cove, you know -a rope with knots- tied to a rock at the top. It’s there so the tourists can come down to the cove without breaking their necks. But you sure have to be in good shape to use it! Those big, fat ladies loaded with gold jewellery can’t come down it, no sir. They would split their heads open.
Mostly it’s only young couples who make it all the way down. Usually, the girl wears nothing but a thong and her guy lugs a bunch of diving gear. I see them daily from my boat, awkwardly coming down the cliff, hanging on to the dangling rope, which serves as a banister of sorts.
I make my living by taking tourists out on my boat. They like to admire the rocks onshore from the water and I point out the sights as I ogle at the girl’s tattooed ass.           
The sun was blindingly bright that day. The wind was strong enough to make your eyes water.  The beach was deserted. Not a single customer in sight. Until at last, I saw a couple of idiots making their way down the rope. He wore a thick, gold chain around his neck and she sported expensive shades. Their white teeth blinded me as they smiled at me all the way from the beach. These tourists sure smile a lot, don’t they? He looked like his muscles were about to pop. He came over and asked about the fare for a boat ride, and I pointed to the sign. I explained the price included a deeper tan for her and lots of good diving for him.
He raised his eyebrows, shaking his head, saying “Oh no, much expensive!” with a strange accent, from some foreign country. I thought to myself, “What? I could probably finish paying off my boat with your girlfriend’s sunglasses, you tightwad.” And that was that. The girl smiled at me, while raising her eyebrows, and I waved goodbye to her. At least she was nice!
They both stripped and stretched out on the sand like lizards in the sun. They sure are tight-fisted, those tourists. So I took off and sailed away to another cove, in search of more generous customers. 
But there was no one to be found. Either the wind was keeping them away, or the new flea market in town.
All of a sudden, the ocean woke up. First it yawned, rocking my little boat and then it stretched, giving us a good shake. The waves stopped crawling on the shore and started to beat it, the foam reaching further, like fingers trying to touch the rocks. I sailed the heavy seas between the coves, watching the ocean eat up the sand for breakfast. It sure covered ground fast. The ocean must have been hungry that morning.
I suddenly thought of the couple of wretched tourists and made my way to the cove where the rope dangled from the cliff. I watched the water lick the rocks and wrap itself around the cove, flooding it. I saw the couple standing against the rocky wall, no sand in sight, surrounded by the water. The rope had split half-way up and it swung around like a whip in the wind, out of their reach.
The G.I. Joe look-alike spotted me and started waving his arms while the girl whimpered, half-naked, as she held on to the rocks.
Those idiots, I thought, they had probably fallen asleep as the tide rose. Stupid tourists! They looked like two giant crabs, all red and scared, running backwards when the waves attacked them.
It sure looks like you need me now, I thought to myself.
Actually, I felt sorry for the girl because she was pretty and had smiled at me. She had shrugged before, as if saying, “Oh well, maybe next time”.
But not the G.I. Joe guy, he didn’t care about pleasing her. He hadn’t wanted to spend a few bucks to make her happy and help me out. But now he was calling out to me, shouting desperately in some strange language, because he had no choice.
I stopped the engine and stood up. “The trip costs three bucks!” I shouted back. Hey, just because I felt sorry for them didn’t mean we were cool. I bet they thought they were about to get a free boat trip.
Over my dead body! I have to make a living, you know. Got bills to pay, a wife and two kids. And what d´you reckon he said to me between gulps of salt water? That he got no money, because the waves had swallowed his bag, wallet and all. I looked at the girl, who was crying and screaming.
Well, let them swim, I thought. After all, he was ripped and strong! They looked like they had the bucks, they shouldn’t have been so stingy before, don´t you reckon?
I waved my arms, to let them know they should swim to the next beach, that was still not covered by the high tide.
Well, by then it wasn’t just about the money anymore. It was a question of principles. No one takes advantage of me, no sir.
Then the water washed over them. All of a sudden, the waves swallowed the girl, pulling her under, then tossing her. He tried to swim over to help her, but the next wave swallowed him up, bulging strong muscles and all.Well, deep inside I felt kind of bad, you know. I was upset by the true nature of human beings. I waited a bit, letting my boat drift with the tide, to see if they would eventually come up to the surface.
One head bobbed up, then the other, amidst the beating waves. It looked like she was swallowing lots of water, too. And the whole thing made me upset, because it really shouldn’t have come to this. They both sank again, and around fifteen minutes later, while I had a smoke, the two dead bodies floated to the surface.
I really wonder why man is so despicable. Why is life so cruel? It’s not fair. If the bodybuilder and his girlfriend hadn’t been so selfish, they wouldn’t be dead right now, and I could get some sleep.
I know it wasn’t my fault, but I just can’t get it out of my head, you know? I stay up all night wondering why people are so selfish. Human nature is so cruel and twisted, that I really don’t get it.
What do you think?

]]> Oh, no! I did it again! tag:blog.lorrainecladish.com,2007-10-31:e9fc20ce-60cb-4890-9e5f-7fb2579a0d9b LCL13 2007-10-31T11:24:27Z 2007-10-31T11:22:00Z

Oh no, I did it again!
Current mood: amused

I had promised myself that when I turned in the ms. for my latest book (on creativity in kids) that would be IT for a while. I´m still focusing on my proposal for the US market, which I have an agent for, and it´s not like I´m sitting at home all day twiddling my thumbs: I write three weekly assignments for a newspaper, I´m translating two LOOONG books into Spanish (for the Latino market), and I have two kids: 6 and 3, plus my hobbies which I honor.

So, yesterday I was at the gym, just workin´ out mindlessly, when this old idea I once had for a book popped into my head again ... and before I forgot it again, I fired it off to the same publisher of the creativity book ... and who also published one of my books on writing.

Well, today I get an excited e-mail from the publisher saying to please send them a formal proposal, because they want to pusblish the book as soon as possible!!!!!!!! I laughed at myself .... So much for "time off" from deadline writing.

I really AM a writing junkie. I guess it´s better than being a druggie!

Any thoughts on this?????

www.lorrainecladish.com

]]> 10 myths about Spaniards and Spain tag:blog.lorrainecladish.com,2007-10-30:6752f8bb-6c68-483d-aa40-ff8c1a8c7b4e LCL13 2007-10-30T11:43:31Z 2007-10-30T11:37:00Z

10 myths about Spaniards and Spain ...
Current mood: energetic 
1.- Spanish (from Spain) women DO shave underarms, legs, bikini line ... heck they don´t just shave, they WAX, laser-remove body hair, moustache, whatever it takes! Brazilian waxes are IN and very popular. Where did the idea that women have hairy underarms in Europe come from??? Dunno about the French ...

2.- No, people in Spain do not sleep 2-hour-long siestas anymore. Some people get to go home for lunch, which is nice, but Spaniards are not the lazy bunch they´re made out to be. In fact, they party hard and work just as hard ... They do enjoy long holidays and are not afraid to kick back and enjoy life a little, or a LOT!

3.- No, not every Spaniard goes to see the bullfights, and not everyone agrees with the bull being killed. In my whole life in Spain I only went once, to accompany an American friend, and I didn´t like it. I like the image of the bulls and the bullfighter´s suit though.

4.- No, Spaniards don´t walk around or go to work in the Flamenco dress, or carry castanets everywhere and say "OLÉ" incessantly ... but in the South of Spain especially, the Flamenco dress is used during what is called "La Feria de Abril", where people gather in the fairgrounds for a week of non-stop dancing, driking, eating, and ... oh, yes, working in the midst of it all! Not everyone can dance Flamenco, and not every Spaniard likes it.

5.- Not all Spanish men are chauvinist machos. The younger generation especially is on equal status with women. Most couples both work and raise the kids, etc.

6.- No, malaria is not an easy disease to catch in Spain! You don´t need shots to enter the country and yes, you can drink tap water. In fact, the tap water in Madrid is considered the best tasting in the country, and the healthiest too.

7.- Yes, there is public transportation, people have cars, and there are McDonalds where they serve BEER ... But I recommend eating the Mediterranean diet which is SOOOO good for you and also very tasty.

8.- Yes, women use fans a lot, especially (again) in the South of Spain. I used to have one to match all my shoes and clothes ... I LOVE fans (abanico). Did you know there is even a language for using them??? Very sexy and handy!

9.- Yes, you may get pick-pocketed in Spain, especially if you insist on wearing silly clothes and several cameras hanging around your neck, while you speak loudly in English and hold up a map on a busy corner in downtown Barcelona, Madrid or Seville! But that could happen in good ole New York too, AND you may get murdered if you insist on looking like a tourist in a shady area anywhere in the WORLD. Suggestion: dress comfortably but with elegance, as most Spaniards do (it IS in Europe, you know!), and be demure.

10.- No, you are not likely to be gang-banged, clubbed to death or bombed because you are American. Just get yourself over there, wine and dine for peanuts and enjoy the relaxed atmosphere and quaint streets, museums, and colorful people. Don´t expect good customer service though! I warned ya.

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